Adventures of Miss SupAficial

Adventures of Miss SupAficial

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Hey How Are you? Please Stop

I have a limit on the number of times I can respond to the following text messages:

"Good Morning"

"Hey, How's your day going?"

Please stop sending them.  It's ok, once, maybe twice, after that, they're annoying and ignored.  And please don't send them daily.

Thursday, August 14, 2014


So, I left my middle of nowhere apartment and moved to the middle of everything DMV area.

I drove a UHaul truck and felt like a boss.  I was nervous initially.  Actually, borderline scared.  But, I said F*ck it.  I gotta do what I gotta do.  After 20 minutes on the road I was driving with one arm, talking on the phone, and speeding.  I backed that thang up into parking spaces I don't know how many times that day.  A bunch of men were like I can help, I said, I got it. When I got out the truck, the first question they asked, where are you from? Jersey! Oh, you've been driving a long time uh? Sure.  In the end, I'm feeling pretty invincible.  Now, if I learn how to swim, I'll feel like a super hero!

I like my apartment.  BUT, I live in the hood.  Whew, it's a neighborhood in transition.  Driving around, good lawd, i've seen some real hood.  I've lived in Philly, Rhode Island, Brooklyn, Queens and a bunch of other places, DC hood takes it to another level.  A comedian said, DC hood is 2 harlems and a half a bronx.  I AGREE.  BUT, at the same time, there are some really nice areas  too.  Overall I like it. It's nice being around black people regularly.  Actually, all day everyday.

I cut my hair, again.  It's short maybe two to three inches in its natural state.  Blown out, it's a chin length bob.  I've been natural over 7 years (committed for 7 years, i've been natural on and off my whole life).  I still don't know how to do my hair. But in DC, EVERYONE is natural so I don't even care!

Well, that was just a quick catch up to get me blogging again.  Now that there's some order back in my life I plan to update regularly again.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Happy Mother's Day

I ordered a white orchid and rose corsage to wear to church on Sunday.  You wear a white corsage when your mom is deceased and red when your mom is alive.  I'll then drive an hour to her gave site and place it on her grave along with some flowers and tell her how much I love and miss her.

Her last mother's day was spent with me when I lived in the South.  She was in town for graduation.  We went to my friend's church.  I thought it was more similar to my mom's church and she would enjoy the service more than if we attended my church. She did.  They asked visitors to stand and say a few words (my church didn't do that).  She said a few words. Then, the congregation applauded. Then, my mom talked some more. I was like OMG as I laughed.  She was proud of her daughter and her daughter's friend and she was going to brag about her child :D.  And, no one rolled their eyes or anything. In fact, they clapped louder and she beamed.

After church, the three of us went to brunch.  We sat outside, though I don't think my mom wanted to because it was warm, but she was hungry and said she didn't want to wait for inside seating.  She drank coffee anyway, because she drank coffee regardless of the weather.  She looked nice.  We went home and she displayed her mother's day card on my dining room table.  When we packed up her home, I found that card, and she still had the envelope too.  My mom liked to save things (ahem, pack rat).  The card had two birds on the front, one big look down on a little one that was looking up at the big bird.  I wrote on the front of the card "you" above the big bird and "me" above the little bird.

I miss you, Mommy and I wish you were here so I can snuggle up under you like I do when I am sad.  Because I am sad that you are not here with me, that I can call you, harass you, hug you, and tell you how much I love you.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Lupita is The Most Beautiful

YAAASSS, Girl, YAAASSSS!!!  Handclap to Ms. Lupita Hunty!
(I watch too much reality tv)

This morning I was completely engulfed with two pieces of news:

1) the SCOTUS ruling on affirmative action in higher education admissions


2) Academy Award winner and Yale alumna, Ms. Lupita Nyong'o, being named People Magazine's Most Beautiful person in the world

In the infamous words of Ms. RuPaul, You Better Werk!

There will be some people who say

***She's being exoticized
***She isn't a dark African American
***We don't need white America to validate our beauty
***She's being tokenized

Here is what I say:

Our Little Girls Need THIS... They soooo desperately need this....

It's not just the dark skin, it's the coarse hair, the full lips, the short hair, it is all of the things that scream my black is beautiful.

WE need this... Black women, we need this!  Not just our little girls, OUR GROWN WOMEN NEED THIS!

Our men aren't affirming us... hell, we don't even affirm ourselves.

For your viewing pleasure, yes, soak it all in:

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Step Into My World

My Poor Little Neglected Blog :(


Here are some updates on my life... before I get back to bloggin'

I've been unproductive at work but that's ok (well not really but I have to tell myself these things).  I have a very busy April and May coming up. April I have a conference the first week, something the second week (can't remember), then Easter, then a work trip, then a conference, then I break the second weekend in May, then going to graduation of many friends at my alma mater, then my 15 year undergrad class reunion, then some thing in dc the following weekend. and June is starting to fill up to. I don't really like being on the go like that. I'm a homebody by nature.

After talking mad shit about my office mate (see here), she was the person that saved the day!!! I don't have any friends in this area and I misplaced my keys.  My sister has spare keys but she was in the middle of something, would've had to go home to get them, then drive all the way here, etc.... My office mate drove me home, waited for my apt ppl to charge me $75 (robbery) to unlock my door, then drove me back to school to get my car (I had spare keys at home).  I really put her out. I was very appreciative and got her a small gift.  I was sad to, because I didn't have anyone else local to depend on and that was disheartening and upsetting but oh well.  My friends that are the closest are about an hour away.  I'm cool with another post doc in my department (and I've definitely helped her in a jam) but she was out doing field work and such is life.  I'm cool with other people but not anyone I felt comfortable putting out of their way like that....

I've been still doing the concert thing.  Latest concert, Jaime Foxx.  Oh it was so fun. My cousin, her best friend, and I got a hotel room at the casino and went to see him. We made it a girls' trip.  He brought out Tank and they did a really good set.  It wasn't the best concert but I enjoyed it.  He called all the ladies down front so I was leaning on the center of the stage the whole time and I watched them call the groupies back with them too. Interesting to see how seamlessly it all played out.

I've been cooking more.  It's a conscious effort.  I need to get back into the swing of things. Dating more. Though OKCupid is too much.  Too active. So, I'm taking a break.  People were getting too serious too soon and managing everything was too time consuming.  I've met some cool people though and been on some pretty amazing, well planned, thoughtful dates. So, definitely will do it again.

My friend just got an awesome job and I am incredibly happy for her. I like when I can brag about my friends' accomplishments because they (my friends) are pretty awesome.

I've been seeing a therapist.  He's an asshole but it's all good.  I'm trying to see if he has a strategy or if he's just winging it.  I can tell he's experienced but just like everyone else, he has good days and bad days and I can tell when he needs to go home and take a nap.  I like going and it was definitely needed. I use my diagnosis to tell my friends that they can't be mean to me.  They laugh. I laugh. I can't even say it was a straight face. "Be nice to me, I have situational depression."  Though I recognize it is not a laughing matter.  It is quite serious, and I am glad that I am getting help. It is not treated with medication because it is not a chemical imbalance nor is it chronic or clinical. Psycho- or Behavior therapy are usual treatments. 

Despite this though, my personal life has definitely picked up. I've been going to concerts and dating as mentioned but also meeting up with friends more frequently, went to a taping of Bethenny show, went to a few plays, comedy shows, other live theater, dinners, brunches, etc... so in that regard I'm happy.  My weekends are almost always booked pretty solid.

I'm thinking I'll blog about maybe one or two dates, maybe one of my therapy sessions, and  maybe some work related stuff, or all this damn snow and how I desperately miss the sunshine of the south, or the many exes that keep trying to reappear in my life.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Online Dating Chronicles, OKCupid vs Eharmony

As you know I was (am) on EHarmony and I think it sucks!

I joined OKCupid at the nudging of many friends.  They were right it is so much better (and it's free).  I've been out a few times.  It is interesting, let me just say that. OKCupid is like the bar with no cover charge and $2 well specials.  You never know who you're going to encounter.  Here are my observations comparing EH & OKC

1) OKC has a better pool of good looking black men.

2) The men on OKC are more aggressive

3) Hell, I'm more aggressive on OKC

4) OKC you don't have several stages of guided communication so a. it's quicker to get to a date and b. you're not bored by the time you're emailing back and forth

5) I only have two (maybe three) emails in me. After that if we aren't connecting in person, I'm done.
(I know that has nothing to do with eh or okc)

6) OKC asks better questions when developing personality profiles. And, if not better definitely more relevant questions.  Dumb stuff I want to know.  For instance, there are some logic questions, hygiene questions, if you're looking for a hook up vs. relationship, political views, drug usage... now with anything you have to rely on a person's honesty but at least the questions are asked.

7) OKC is Free, EH you have to search the internet for coupon codes to make it affordable.

8)  OKC is more open ended in the information you fill in your profile. Some of EH is actually multiple choice.

9) OKC allows you to search on a variety of topics (height, education (in detail), age, race, location, smoking, etc...). EH you cannot search. You rely on whom EH has decided is a match for you.

10) OKC is a bit childish. You can vote on who is popular, you get an email if you get a certain number of votes. Dumb stuff like that.

11) Here's a plus for EH. I guess it isn't all bad. EH is far more private than OKC. EH is like paying to sit behind the velvet rope or curtain.  People cannot scroll for you.  OKC tells you whenever someone looks at your profile and when they're looking at it. I think EH tells you when someone has gone to your page but it is more discreet. 

Related Posts:
Eharmony Can Eat It
Hell Date
I Have A Sexy Doctor

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Most Annoying Habits of Your (read: my) Office Mate!!!

What's wrong with you? I share office...

Whose idea was it that sharing office was good for business????

I HATE Sharing Office. I really do. I live alone for a reason.

After texting my friends way too often about the annoying habits of my office mate (OM), we began trading comments trying to one up each other on worst office mate habits, and then one friend started a google doc just for complaining about your office mate.

I present to you the result of that google doc:

1.      When my office mate eats really really smelly food. And then I smell like it for the rest of the day because she refuses to open the damn door!


2.            When my OM prints a large document, removes from printer, and then slams them against the desk to even out the papers.  Do you really need to slam them that hard? irritating  


Nasty Heifer!
3.            When mine loudly describes all her accomplishments so that I will overhear.  Everyday.  I always put on headphones when she’s around. :o)


4.            When I see OM in bathroom, and she just barely wets her hands. EFFING dirty  


5.            I hate that my OM asks me at 1130 or 1200 to go to lunch, when I have said to her on numerous occasions that I do not eat lunch that early. I prefer 100 sometimes as late as 200. Do we have to have this conversation everyday? Baffling


6.            It drives me nuts when she shows up.  WTF go home!

I can relate. My OM is here all the time. She calls the office “HOME”. WTF go home!
She buys lunch and dinner at 1130 and keeps both in the office instead of taking to the
fridge (love the smell <sarcasm>), takes naps at her desk, other BS. GO HOME!


7.            When my OM sneezes, she doesn’t cover her mouth, nose, face, anything!!!


8.            My OM sniffles 24/7. Go blow your damn nose!!!


9.            My OM is always walking over to look at what I’m doing on my computer


10.          When mine comes she breathes, which I find equally disgusting

11.          When my OM tries to flirt with my other office mate by bringing her lunch . AWKWARD!!!  


12.          When my OM answers his phone, all I hear is his girlfriend talking to him in baby talk.


13.          My OM is ESL.  When she’s talking to someone and they don’t understand her, she starts screaming.  They can hear you; they can’t understand you.


14.          My OM hums.


15.          Mine shakes her foot like she’s having a convulsion and it shakes the whole desk.


16.          When OM walks out of office and leaves phone, which then BLOWS up.


17.          This is a throwback from an old officemate (3rd & 4th yr of grad school). I hate when OM leaves dirty dishes on his desk for days at a time.
Yes, I snapped a pic and sent it to others I was so disgusted with his nasty ass
This same OM asked “xyz's” sister on a date and got shut down LOL

18.          This is a throwback from an old officemate (3rd & 4th yr of grad school). I hate when OM leaves old coke cans (not rinsed, so still with residue) lined up on his desk as if it was an art display and not trash.


19.          I tell OM breaking news. She says, “where did you get that?” I reply, “MSN & NBCNews” and she says, “it may be fake.” I call her out on it. “Why is that fake?” “Because it’s not npr.” Now I have to refrain from jumping across desk and acting an ass. #jesusbemyownofficesoon


20.          When I have the door closed and my OM comes in and leave it open, OR when I have the door open and my OM comes in and closes it. Leave that shit how you found it!


21.          Our desks are connected.  Why does OM’s shit always spill over onto my desk?!?! There is a clear divide and just because I don’t use every inch of my desk doesn’t mean it is available for OM’s usage.


22.          OM keeps sniffing and sneezing; she has a roll of toilet paper on the desk. I ask, “allergies?” she responds, “I think the flu or a cold.” GO TF HOME!!!!!!!!!!


23.          I no longer have an officemate.  #winning!! ********************************************


24.          I hated it when my cubemate butted into every conversation I ever had.  I mean you can hear me talking so it’s understandable that you want to join in, but EVERY convo??  Start some of your own so you don’t have to be all in mine :-/.  Have a nice day :o)


25.          My OM worked on the weekend and sent me an email asking if her husband could use my desk. Sure. I get in on Monday and my desk is totally rearranged. Look cotdammit, IDGAF if you move things put my shit back where the fuck you found it. She could see the rage forming in my eyes, turns to me and says, “oh he made space to work on your desk.” I rolled my eyes. She smiled and laughed. Ain’t shit funny.  Please Jesus, I’m trying to remain civil.


Shout out to my friends for being them and the four of us putting this list together!